The Steward Society
The Steward Society is dedicated to eradicating unusual threats to mankind. So says their moniker. In truth, that’s all that is really known to the general public about The Society. It’s no great secret that an organization called The Steward Society supposedly exists. However, nothing is known about its members, its actions, or whether it actually lives up to its creed. Perhaps The Stewards gather in secret to validate the existence of other closed door societies such as the Free Masons. Perhaps The Stewards are elitists who pay handsomely for the honor of learning a secret handshake and drinking fine scotch. Perhaps The Stewards’ obscurity and the fact that no one has ever seen “an unusual threat to mankind” is a testament to their success. Whatever the case may be, The Stewards exist, this is certain. Whether they exist in earnest or just in the mind of a collective public imagination remains to be seen.
Regardless of whether The Society is little more than a secretive boys club or whether it is in fact the unassuming protectorate of mankind, those interested in joining the Steward Society should contact Professor Felix Von Rosenbauer. Professor Rosenbauer entertains individuals from all walks of life and can typically be found on his yacht, the Ella Flagg Young, anchored just off shore of Newport, RI. Across the stern reads “May her voice be heard.”
Though you can often find the Professor aboard the Ella, don’t expect to find him forthcoming with details about the Society. You’ll be treated to a pleasant conversation, some tea, and mounds of random, mostly useless, and seemingly scattered information concerning the past. It’s been said that you can go to the Professor and ask to become a Steward. However, the urban legend tells that when the Professor comes to you, most are ill-prepared for what is asked. Seek out the Professor, but pray he never has cause to seek you out.
Live a long and happy life. And let the Stewards live theirs.
Tuesday, Dec 16th, 6:30pm GST
Grandma Porn This one’s for you Roosie